I have just found a draft below never published transcribed from part of my journal written during my second year of meditation.  I will work on transcribing more of my journal.  My third Vipassana was with my cousin in January of 2018.  I did not journal much this time.  I returned for a fourth time in December of 2018 and return for a fifth time this November 2019.  

January 14, 2017 day two

It has been easier than I thought it would be.  My grandson, Tyler gave me the awareness when he asked if I were excited about going to Thailand. I realized how apprehensive I was, not looking forward to the first days since it had been so difficult last year. Now here this first evening and the following morning have been pleasurable, it proves I am in a different place. No fears, no trying to control and analyze my future, more present. I am learning more and able to let go, we should look upon our future with happiness, not worries because we have no idea what the future brings.  We only have this present moment.

Sunday, January 15 day three

I have the title of old student now not because I am old but because I have been here before. Every now and then the foreign Monk guide asked me to explain things to the new students. Only one other student in this large group of 25  has been here before but her stay was in 2004. Sarah lives in Italy and is from New Zealand.  The group is mostly travelers and dual resident meditators. There are very few Americans, mostly Europeans in this group, one man is from Colorado who teaches ESL in China.  

Today the women reported to the female monk and the men to the male monk and we will continue to alternate our reporting visits with each teacher during our stay. I came a few minutes early and was able to see the monk first.  I did my three bows to show my respect to and expressed

how grateful I was for her inspiration.  In the opening, she asked those of us who had been here before to stay longer, giving us each instructions individually. I told her I had been meditating an hour each day since leaving last year, she smiled with pride at me. She gave me a card which told me to start with step three alternating with 30 minutes of sitting.   

Today's mediation was rewarding, because I was determined to sit through the pain in my left hip, normally always having to change positions to lessen the pain.  Toward the end, I was so happy that
my pain disappeared and felt proud that my practice was advancing to finally take the advise of many monks to accept and release the pain. When I walked to breakfast after my first walking and sitting practice, I felt a difference in my walk, as if I had been to a pt appointment.

January 16 Monday Day Four

The superior monk was not there at his home as he was every reporting period last year, we reported to an assistant monk, Prah Along.  I showed him the instruction card the female monk had given me.  He told me I was not supposed to do the fourth step until I had breathed into all the points, he showed me the sitting Buddha with the white dots and instructed me to breathe into six of the twenty eight points.  I will remember to ask the female monk about their conflicting instructions.  

After reporting, I chose to return to the patio our aide last year's room on the second floor.  There are memories of sitting there last year with fellow meditators, Deborah and Rose.